Tears, but no tantrums: The England football stars represent the best of modern masculinity

Natasha Pszenicki
WEST END FINAL

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Football has always been the ultimate “boy” thing—and in these past few days, it’s represented everything good about modern masculinity. First, the excuse of football has allowed straight men to display emotion — post-final many admitted they were upset for the first time in their lives, while until Sunday night the streets of London were filled with men serenading nature with warbles of jubilation in the manner of Snow White — although even she didn’t sing Atomic Kitten (“Football’s coming home again”).

But I’ve been most bewitched by the England football team’s lack of stiff upper lip — whose first instinct upon losing was not to curse, but to curl their arms around Bukayo Saka, Saka in turn letting a heart-summoning sob soak his boss’s shoulder. The team upend a commonly-held misconception, that men letting themselves be vulnerable is a turn-off, incompatible with physical prowess. The first England football team to reach a major final in 55 years have spoken of their hurt in the days after it, the man who led them there how he’s still knocked by missing a penalty in the 1996 semi-final: Gareth Southgate is a sauntering contradiction to the idea compassion hoovers confidence — and the most suggestive comments I’ve heard indicate women think Southgate would take control in places well beyond the football pitch.

Yet the team merely reflects a trend among young men to be open. Among friends, it’s considered “hot” for a guy to go to therapy. Not because it indicates he’s “messed up”, but because we know too many men who keep issues repressed — those issues only seeing the light of day when projected onto the women they date. Just because men don’t talk about their emotions, doesn’t mean they won’t unleash them in darker, stormier ways onto themselves — suicide is the main cause of death for men under 49.

Or onto others, sometimes physically, as per the disquieting statistic that domestic abuse always soars during football matches — only by slightly less if we win. Indeed, the pleasing humility of the England team contrasts with the toxic masculinity of many of their fans, who let it all out when football and beers collide; causing 30 arrests across London during the match against Scotland,“frightening” A&E staff after the quarter-final — and of course, trolling black players since we lost. Whatever your political stance, Marcus Rashford and co’s campaigns for free school meals and taking the knee are a world away from such antics.

Women used to be drawn to the strong and silent, now we just get irritated when a man can’t talk about how he feels — it just seems puerile, cardboard even. We once loved the mystery, unpacking our Russian-doll boyfriends— until we realised five layers in, there’s nothing there.

Tokyo Olympics “self-service” medal ceremony is the most depressing post-Covid development yet

A plan for the Tokyo Olympics medal ceremonies to be a “self-service buffet”, where winners put the ribbons around their own necks, has to be the most depressing post-Covid development. It’s reminiscent of a grumpy dinner lady grunting “‘elp yourself” over the canteen slop — only this time to Dina Asher-Smith. There is something unnecessarily, wonderfully grandiose about someone else needing to lift a 500g pendant over athletes who can lift 200 kilo weights. The medal ceremony used to be the glittering climax of worldwide sporting achievements. Now it’s a production line — a DIY Build-A-Bear, but with sanitiser.

What do you think about the Tokyo Olympics going ahead? Let us know in the comments below.

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